Brooms and Balls
by Mi
Summary: How on earth did Lucius Malfoy get himself on the Slytherin Quidditch team? Find out in this short silliness, featuring Snape, Black and beware Narcissa! Marauder time, sixth year. A spinoff from Dramatis Personae.


Author Notes:

This is yap's fault! 

This story is a plot-bunny from my other fic **"Dramatis Personae"**, where Lucius Malfoy has accidentally managed to get a recommendation for the Slytherin Quidditch team (for details, read the story). Well, and this is what Lucius makes of it. It takes place during Lucius' and Severus' sixth year at Hogwarts.

The idea of Narcissa being Quidditch captain is also to be blamed on yap. As is the beta-reading - thanks a lot!!!

So - as always nothing and no-one is mine, they're all J.K.Rowling's. Have fun!

****

Brooms and Balls

It was a bright and sunny day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Tell me again, Lucius. Why do I have to be here?" Severus asked, clearly uninterested in his friend's business. He stretched himself out on the grass and glared at the all too friendly sky. Fluffy clouds were floating by, obviously in an attempt to make everybody happy, trying to bring people to see birds or ... smiling little bunnies in them. He'd never indulged in ... hey - that cloud looked like a dragon - 

"What are you doing?" Lucius was in a rather frantic mood. "Get up. I'm next. You have to watch me." 

"Get a grip, man. It's only Quidditch." However ... Lucius had every right to be nervous, Severus decided. He'd never seen Lucius play, neither at Hogwarts nor during the summer break - not once. He sure couldn't be anything but crap at Quidditch. Severus winced inwardly. "And I'm not going to cheer or something." This would be embarrassing enough.

Lucius made a face. "Of course you aren't. Don't be stupid. And ... it's not _only_ Quidditch!" And then he actually sounded bashful - of all things. "You know ... "

Severus propped himself up on his elbows. Of course, he'd almost forgotten about _that_. "Oh no. Come on, Lucius. That's not a good idea." 

But Lucius didn't seem to listen. He was occupied with watching the Slytherin Quidditch team - or rather their captain, to be more specific.

"Isn't she adorable?"

Oh God! Severus sat up and took off his robe. It was too darn sunny out here and Lucius was going cheesy. Perfect. "Can I go now?"

"No, you can't. I need you to ... "

"You need me to what? I'm not holding your hand, either." 

"Hey ... she's coming over. How's my hair?"

"_Adorable_!" Severus sneered.

"Malfoy. You're next," Narcissa said, not too friendly, though. "And to make this clear. Just because Professor Keele put you on the list for the team's new keeper, that doesn't mean you have the job already. We have _dozens_ of competitors and - oh, your father isn't around anywhere, is he?" At this she paused and approached him - real close. "You will have to - prove yourself _worthy_, don't you think?" Lucius swallowed and ... approached her even closer. "Just wait and see till I give you - "

"He's worthy all right. Just go and ... throw some balls at him." Severus stood up. Restraint was never his good side.

Narcissa gave him an appraising look from head to toe. "And you are here to get some colour on your face?"

"Well, _you_ should get some off. Would do your skin good. But then again - " Lucius nudged him, but it was already too late. Narcissa's face burned with anger.

"Well, alright. Let's see what _you've_ got, then," she snarled.

"What?"

"Come on - you're scared? It's only broomsticks and balls. Nothing to be afraid of."

"I don't think Severus wants to - " Lucius began.

"All right," Severus cut him. "Can't be so hard if a poshy girl like you can play it."

Narcissa huffed. "Be my guest."

She went back to her team and Lucius immediately grabbed Severus by the collar of his shirt. "What is this? Do you want to die - _friend_?"

"Oh, come on. You can't play. I'm only saving you from - "

"Who said I can't play? I'm an excellent player!"

"Well ... they won't assign me anyway. And ... if I'm playing bad you can show off with your talent." Severus tried to say it humorously, but Lucius was really pissed off. 

Severus gave up. "Okay — I won't play. Go ... impress her, whatever."

Lucius released him. "How's my suit?"

"Perfect." Perfect Quidditch equipment, he added silently.

Lucius got on his broomstick. Severus watched him fly - not too steady - and had just decided that this was exactly the right moment to make his exit, when a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Is this a self-folding T-Shirt you're wearing?" a cheerful voice chirped right in his ear.

"Black!"

"Snape."

"Get your hand off." Severus' voice was glacier.

"My pleasure." Black wiped off his hand on his trousers, still smiling. "What a nice day for Malfoy to get smacked. Wouldn't want to miss that."

Severus said nothing. He wasn't so sure that Lucius _wouldn't_ get smacked. 

Black was obviously about to make some more childish comments, but both boys were suddenly enthralled by the beginning training session. They watched.

After ten minutes, Black was the first to break the silence. 

"He didn't see that coming, did he?" 

"Must have hurt like hell." 

"Oh - that was close!"

"What was that? He should have seen that alright!"

"Ouch! There goes the suit!"

"I can't believe he did that. How stupid - "

"Watch out! He's going to roll over."

"Whoops."

"Well ... that ends that."

"No, wait ... he'll catch ... "

"Is that blood?"

"Yes."

"And who's the other player on the ground? Oh, that leg doesn't look good."

"That would be Narcissa, I say - " Severus suddenly jerked his head to Black. "What are we doing here? Talking? Get the hell away from me."

Black grinned mischievously. "I enjoyed it."

It was either back off or hex Black to silence, but with an entire Quidditch team, a bunch of spectators and Madam Hooch around, the latter wasn't really an option. So Severus turned his back on Black and walked over to the field where Lucius and Narcissa were enjoying the comfort of medical treatment. 

"Don't say anything," Lucius mumbled.

Severus bit his tongue. He waited until Madam Hooch had finished with Lucius' minor bruises and started walking Narcissa back to the castle. Then he couldn't hold it any longer. 

"I guess you didn't make it into the team, then."

"Of course I did."

"..."

"She said I had potential."

"For what?" Severus was sure this had to be a joke. But Lucius seemed dead serious about it.

"You know what." Lucius gave him a meaningful look. "I probably should go to the Hospital wing to check on my team captain. See me later."

Severus went back to where he'd left his robe and picked it up. This term was definitely _not_ improving. 

the end


End file.
